Orangutan in Chief: A Week That Shook the World
From trade wars to diplomatic standoffs, the past seven days have been a masterclass in chaos governance. Here's the full rundown of everything the Orangutan did this week.
What did the
Orangutan do today?
The Mess
by Orangutan
Events that happened as a direct or indirect consequence of Trump's presidency. The ripple effect, documented.
The Wars
Active global conflicts — with indicators for wars started during Trump's presidency and conflicts where Trump has claimed credit for "stopping."
The Epstein
Files
Tracking every development in the Epstein documents case — who is named, what is revealed, and what remains buried.
Mishap
Counter
Aggregated from documented events, RSS feeds, and public records. Updated in real-time as news arrives.
📊 Methodology
Base counts are compiled from documented public records, congressional reports, and fact-checking databases as of March 2026. Live RSS contributions are calculated by scanning incoming news headlines for relevant keywords and incrementing the appropriate category. Trade war counts include each documented tariff action. Conflict counts track active theaters. Agency disruption counts are based on reporting from ProPublica, Washington Post, and Reuters tracking databases. This counter is satirical but data-informed.